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Throughout my life, even though I have never really been in one place for too long, I have always been blessed to have loads and loads of friends. It has always been relatively easy for me to meet people and converse since I can be rather talkative. In fact, when I moved to Dallas four years ago I actually only knew two people. Whenever I think back to that time it makes me so grateful for how far I have come. While I am incredibly lucky I will admit I still have some friends who constantly leave me hanging and make me do all the work. So, with the new year still fresh I have started to ask myself "Who are my 3am friends?" 
What is a 3am friend you may ask? Well, and please note that I made this term up (nothing official or fancy at all), they are the friends you can call or text at any hour of the day and no matter what they are doing they will pick up or answer your text. They are the friends that will commit to something, but not back out even if something far more fabulous comes along. They are the friends that always include you and invite you to things even when they know you are busy and will say no. They are your BEST friends and they will be there through thick AND thin!
It can be hard to let go of the friendships for which you have put worth all the effort, but there comes a time when you I think you have to be selfish. Sometimes, you just naturally grow apart from people, but there are other instances when reality sets in. When someone constantly lets you down or neglects to include you it only upsets you in the end. I feel like I have finally learned that "friends" like that are not are friends on the surface level. 
I have SO many wonderful friends that I know would go out of their way for me. Funny enough, and I NEVER would have dreamed I would write this in a million years, but many of them I have met through my blog. So, in 2011 and beyond it is my "3am friends" that I want surrounding me! They are the friends I want to call and laugh with in twenty years; the friends whose children's weddings we will all attend; the friends who will hold my hand through the good and the bad. 
They are and they will always be my best friends!
They are and they will always be my best friends!
28 comments:
My husband and I have our "Jail" friends...as in....if we were ever arrested, who would come bail us out? We've never been in this situation, but we know who we could depend on (some overlaps for us, some not). We didn't have a huge wedding so we only invited our "jail" friends lol.
Natalie
http://twoprepsinapod.blogspot.com
Yay for you for making that declaration. Very well put, too!
How funny- I call mine my "2AM friends" and I have really been re-evaluating things along these lines too this year. Must be something in the water...
This is precious!!! I love the kappa pic!!! Have you seen the baylor kappas "Kappa Rap"?
This is so weird. I was reading through this post and this one girl looked so familiar to me. I realized it's because she was in my sorority here in SC, she was a senior when I was a freshman so I didn't really know her, but I know her older sister, she is our wonderful chapter advisor. What a small world!
You are such a good friend to so many people that I am GLAD you have a circle of friends who are good back to you!
PS I have those same Lilly cords that you and your friend are wearing in the second picture, but mine do not look cute and stylish like yours - they look like pajama pants! Hence I never wear them. :(
You are so right. I used to tell my high school students that as you get older you may only have 5 people who are your "inner-circle" of friends. All the others are the "outer-circle". Love the Mermaid. She is the best. She is one of my blog friends that I have had the pleasure to actually spend "REAL" time with also!
I call them my "rainy day" friends. It is always easy to have a good time in the sun, but when rainy (sad) times hit, who will be there for you?
A really great post!
Such a nice post. It's also amazing how your friends change through the years from college to post college friends, working friends and then mommy friends. To me, the best friends are the oldest!
Too funny as I have been re-evaluating my friendships lately too! There is a lot of time and energy I have put into "friendships" that I feel I get nothing outbid and 2011 is my year to change! I want to focus on the friendships that are going to go the long haul.
Such a good post. This makes me think of the friends throughout my life who have kind of fallen by the wayside as time passes--they are the type that are perfectly happy to get together if I invite them but they never seem to reciprocate. True friends are the type that will email or call just to say "hi" if they haven't heard from you in a while.
Such a great post! And I know exactly what a 3 am friend is.
It's so funny that this is your post today! I was actually thinking about a similar situation with a 'best friend' from high school who I feel no longer puts forth any effort. I'm going to focus on my friends who make me feel that they would always be there for me...no matter what!
www.alwayswearpearls.blogspot.com
You are SO good and SO right to speak your mind on this. I think those of us middle/upper 20-somethings are now coming to that point where friends who are reliable are even more important. And I wholeheartedly agree with your sentiment of cleaning out the closet and only really working with the ones that matter. Good for you!
I've been going through a similar situation, which I've called 'cleaning house". If they've not been a 3am friend, I've cut them out. Not in a mean way, just letting the friendships take their natural course which I can see is to drift apart.
I can tell just from reading yourblog that YOU are probably the best 3am friend to so many of your friends!
What a well written post!
I'm twice your age (have a daughter your age!) and you will find this process goes on throughout your life; through all the different seasons.
In fact, this is also a timely post as I have a "friend" who needs "culling" right now! It's been on my mind and heart a lot the last couple of months although obviously not hers! I did meet her for breakfast yesterday and I sadly realized it's over!
No messy breakup though, it all went on in my own head. Just a conscious decision on my part to start to detach from the friendship. Shouldn't be too difficult as I did all the work in this relationship!!
xx
Hopsy - you are a smart cookie to have figured this out early in life. I'm 20 years your senior and have accepted that friends come and go, but not until recently have I chosen to let some friendship die that weren't positive or fulfilling.
Also, thank you for the post re: Lilly Valentine's goodies. The shift is on it's way to my house for my daughter.
I've been thinking about this very same topic in the new year! The past couple of years have made me evaluate how many true friends - a.k.a. 3am friends :) - I really have. And I've been trying to become a better 3am friend myself!
It must be something in the air- I was thinking that as well...really re-evaluating who my real friends are......
Over the years there are so many circles of friends: childhood/high school, college, job, marriage,neighbors, mommy friends and friends you make whilst volunteering.
Great post.
True friends are uplifting and stand the test of time.
-linda, ny
Love that I have met great friends through my blog!
Amen!
I just went through the same exact process....freeing experience!
Love,
Mrs. Kindergarten
You look blessed with a great group! Great post :)
This was such a timely post. I am also one of those older ladies who have gone through this process a few times. Some friends can bring you down all the time, while good friends, or as you call 3am friends are there and look for the best in a situation.
Thank you for your post, I really enjoyed it!
Susan
such true words. it's important to let go of draining friendships, and nurture those that nurture you.
You can send me a 3am BBM any ole time! XXOO
Beautiful Hopsy. I am blessed with great 3 am friends too:)
Great post and it IS so wonderful to have, "3am Friends" yes...and I love how you termed that kind of always-with-you friendship :)
This got me to thinking about my closest of girlfriends (and one close guyfriend) and for the most part, they've come out of group situations from my cheerleading, deb, sorority, Junior League, career, grad school and now also with church "days"...this usually ends up being myself and two other people who bond within these and we three stay-true to one another thru the years.
For the most part, it's women my own age but here where we're living now, my and my husband's close-3am-Friends are a 29 yr old guy and a 55 year old women so that definitely skews my usual demographic!
Fun to think about and thx again for a great post! Best, Lachlan
You are so right. Preach on, sistah! And how in the world do you know Nan?!?!
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